the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
