Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize