"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
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