ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
