Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
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