I wish I could punch you in the face.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
