: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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