Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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