my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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