I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
We left an ass print on the piano.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
