called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Holy shit dude........stairs
He did a backflip because drugs
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