he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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