They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
