How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
