There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Small penises have feelings too.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
