I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
