Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
