Those balls look pretty dangerous.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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