DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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