Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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