Christians are straight up FREAKS
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
