Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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