Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
