hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
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