giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Randomize
