I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
