I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
