I looked at my own cervix.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
