She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
