why didn't you poke me back
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize