there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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