I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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