Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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