So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
