I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
