One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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