The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
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Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
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White people are beatboxing! Save me.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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