we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Randomize
