I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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