You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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