People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
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