When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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