I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
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you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
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I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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