when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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