Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.