I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?