You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.