I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me