my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on