sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.