The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Randomize
