Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
