Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
