around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
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He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
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A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.