New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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