I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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