weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.