Texts From Last Night

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  (850): View more from Florida

  Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.

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  (850): Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos. http://tfl.nu/15bf
  Replies (74) Good night (17634) Bad night (1418)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...

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  (302): and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare... http://tfl.nu/t5mw
  Replies (21) Good night (502) Bad night (3662)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.

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  (248): i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college. http://tfl.nu/wwi7
  Replies (29) Good night (1159) Bad night (4184)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death

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  (206): I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death http://tfl.nu/irfc
  Replies (14) Good night (3619) Bad night (1407)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair

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  (603): Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair http://tfl.nu/7ypz
  Replies (36) Good night (4613) Bad night (1318)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox

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  (847): she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox http://tfl.nu/x7gb
  Replies (10) Good night (931) Bad night (3802)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.

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  (816): I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted. http://tfl.nu/62u0
  Replies (2) Good night (3880) Bad night (655)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  where are you?

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Hypothermia

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  (443): where are you? (240): Hypothermia http://tfl.nu/1rtk
  Replies (20) Good night (2188) Bad night (3941)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool

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  (401): she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool http://tfl.nu/sz50
  Replies (5) Good night (638) Bad night (1826)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"

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  (770): After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me" http://tfl.nu/acul
  Replies (22) Good night (3366) Bad night (1009)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body

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  (973): casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body http://tfl.nu/5oad
  Replies (2) Good night (583) Bad night (766)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.

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  (775): My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am. http://tfl.nu/5s1a
  Replies (3) Good night (742) Bad night (395)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house

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  (812): Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house http://tfl.nu/563g
  Replies (2) Good night (978) Bad night (348)
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  (+65): View more from

  My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood

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  (+65): My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood http://tfl.nu/m0vo
  Replies (5) Good night (492) Bad night (209)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY

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  (713): I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY http://tfl.nu/5ce4
  Replies (1) Good night (337) Bad night (173)

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