Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...