dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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