Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website