She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together