A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
19 Teachers Share the Funniest Items Brought to “Show and Tell”
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
23 Concerns People Have When They’re About To Have Sex With Someone New
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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