Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize