Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
