alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize