For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
