i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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