i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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