Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
