We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
