I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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