I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Just cropdusted the office
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Randomize
