Do vagina's smell?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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