Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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