So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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