I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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