if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
where am i from again
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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