Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize