i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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