Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
