I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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