Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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