Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Randomize
