Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
