apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
