that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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